A STAPLE IN MY HOME YEALDS 4 PIZZAS (SCALE REQUIRED) TIP: BEST TO START EARLY OR NIGHT BEFORE INGREDIENTS: 100 G starter 10 G Salt 375 G WARM WATER 500 G AP FLOUR COMBINE: REST FOR 30 mins after combined with a plastic cover or towel over the bowl. PERFORM STRETCH and FOLDS every 30 MINS for about 2 Hours. (COVER BOWL EACH TIME) Let dough rest until bubbly in WARM area of your house. Dump onto floured surface & cut into 4 equal pieces. shape all 4 pieces into round dough balls Place Each Dough Ball into separate dishes (OILED) Refrigerate. (DOUGH LASTS 3 DAYS IN FRIDGE) Let dough rest for 1 hour at room temp before baking (VERY IMPORTANT) BAKE AT 500 for 12 - 15 MINS or until nice and GOLDEN on crusts.
When it hits you, it's never at the most opportune time. Just when you'd think you'd found yourself without it for so long that you've just grown apart, it sneaks itself back in like a mouse in the winter. The house grows a lot quieter in this time. The leaves have started their depart, and so have you. You're there physically, but you have somehow managed to bury your head in the quicksand. There are no warm meals on the table to enjoy, and the house has gone unkept. You've just stopped taking care of yourself, haven't you?
I am clawing my way out towards recovery
November 15th, 2020
The earth is still warm. Yet here I am in my favorite coat, watching the leaves fall and imagining what the trees would look like if they would actually change colors like the other places. Today I woke myself up early for the first time in weeks. I decided to come out to the park and write about the things that actually bring me joy. I quickly realized maybe this wasn't something I thought about enough, and that maybe I've been pessimistic a lot longer than I have noticed.
After spending so much of my time thinking myself into impending doom, of course nature takes the course and drains all of the energy I had left to replenish myself. Which is not only bad for my well being, but it could be bad for the people around me too, of course.
However I am stubborn, and I will protect the people I love from myself, by getting to the bottom of this...
Doing this is no easy task, it requires a lot of self-reflection. Which again brings me here, sitting cross-legged in this park, filling in this entry in my new journal. There is no better way to start a journal I think, at a moment when you have realized that you desperately need an awakening. I suppose change isn't easy, and it definitely doesn't happen as fast as you could hope or pray for.
Do you ever remember dreaming about what you'd be like as an adult when you were a child? Well, I don't think I've ever stopped dreaming about it. I still find myself having all of these crazy expectations for myself. At least I think they are crazy when truthfully they are not even close to unattainable.
This is my hope..., to stop telling myself something is impossible and creating all of these invisible barriers for myself, who is fully capable of creating any outcome in my life. It's so hard to admit to myself that I am the villain in my own story. What I keep reminding myself, is that you are only one decision away from a better life.
In truth, I have created a lovely life for myself, a life I am grateful for every day. You should never stop reaching for something more out of life. It will do our spirits well to remember that.
So today I have decided to begin my journey of becoming the remarkable woman I keep telling myself I can't become. After I write down all of the things that bring me joy, I would like to leave room for the things that I have always wanted to do, learn, and practice.
By the end of this journal, I hope that I can hardly recognize the writer that is writing this now.
The End of the "I am not Enough Era"
Carrot Cake Sweetie
Feel Free to check out my video, made specifically for this blog post. I also have a few items listed below if you want to start your own self recovery journal!
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